Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Exercise is for masochistic zealots!

Recently, due to an improvement in the weather, I have taken to walking Samson (10 month old German Shepherd) with more regularity. This has led me to develop an unhealthy interest in my fitness level. The last two days I have decided to up the ante a bit by mixing in a little jogging with the walking. Yesterday, I challenged myself to jogging half of the distance that we typically walk. Samson, spurred by an increase in my normal speed also decided to brake into a brisk trot, which for me is a full-on run. After several minutes (I know, I know only minutes!), I felt close to death. My heart was drumming in my chest, and I was having an increasingly difficult time breathing. Luckily for me, dogs have a keen sense of hearing and Samson was able to detect the barely audible popping sound the human heart makes just before it explodes (I imagine it’s akin to the sound of a chipmunk passing gas). He immediately slowed his pace with out any spoken command, handy for me since I was not, at that point, capable of coherent speech. The dog then turned to face me with a look on his face that can only be described as a mixture of pity and amusement (I have been on the receiving end of this look often enough that I recognize it when I see it, even from a dog). It was at this point I discovered the sweat absorption limit of the eye brows. They had had their fill and began to empty directly into my apoplectic eyes. So, we stumbled home, I partially blind and with what felt like my spleen impaled on that extra rib women have. Upon our arrival, hubby took in my hitching breath and flushed face and asked: “What, did you run or something?” I answered in the affirmative, and to show how truly out of character a run is for yours truly, he promptly asked: “Was someone chasing you?”
Five things I never thought I would ever say:
1. Is that poo?
2. Just spit it into my hand!
3. Let me smell your head.
4. Bend over farther.
5. I need more exercise.


  1. You're never gonna say 'never' again are you?

    The older we get, the more effort we need to put into fitness they say, and yeah, yeah, I know all that, but why does my brain always need those 10 extra minutes of sleep, which in turn leads to the physical fitness regime being pushed to 'tomorrow' for the millionth time! Hmmm, I'm gonna blame it all on my brain now, and don't tell me that's not legit.

  2. Dammit, I had a mouthful of coffee when I got to the "Chipmunk Fart" -- damn near sprayed my computer & cat!
    Thank God for dogd; without mine, my 'muffin top' would look like half a bakery!
    Thanks for stopping by! I've read a few entries & will certainly add this to my list!

  3. Very good stuff here. That would SO be me if I were to walk in and announce I had been running, first reaction would be that I must have been chased.

    Keep up the running and the good writing!

  4. Is someone chasing you? That's pretty funny. I feel your pain on the run thing. You need to build up slowly. VERY slowly. (-:

  5. Kaotic: I too live on the snooze function. I push back exercising until the time has come where its either fitness or fat. I choose the former.
    Mr. Will: I just came across your blog via Texas (roundabout I know). Happy to have made you nearly spew coffee.
    Zen: I don't know how much longer I could keep it up, I am currently lapsing. I can see the fat collecting as I type.
    Toad: I think I should build up watching others run, and entirely forgo the running myself. I am not cut out for fitness.