Monday, September 7, 2009

Why I hate Comcast Cable.

For those of you whose lives are interesting enough not to have kept abreast of my doggy trials, we recently lost our prized cable box remote. We arrived home from a baseball game a few weeks ago to discover only one recognizable fragment remaining of our precious device (batteries were never recovered). The next afternoon I promptly called Comcast to arrange a replacement. Since we live in the bustling metropolis of Delphi, I was informed that I had two options: I could travel to Peru, Monticello, or Logansport to pick up a new remote, or I could have one sent to me. Since I am unfamiliar with any of the aforementioned towns, I elected the latter option. Well, about ten days passed, and still no remote had arrived. I stationed myself on porch and prepared to make second call to Comcast (I would much rather be subjected to water-boarding). At this point I was pleasantly reassured that due to the mailing difficulties, my order may have been delayed, and I should be expecting remote to arrive any day. One more week passes…I have grown weary of squatting in front of box (I know I am sounding horribly bourgeois here given that people in Haiti subsist on tinned peaches for weeks at a time, but hey if GM can complain….). I phone Comcast again yesterday, much less I accommodating at this point, I informed the rep that unless the package had been sent from Turkmenistan, it should have arrived long ago. I’ll give her some credit; she chuckled (probably thinking I was talking about Alabama). She checked on my order and informed me that only half of the order had been completed and remote had never left the Middle East at all. Argggghhh! I was then placed on hold, ostensibly so she could complete said order. After twenty or so minutes (her nails had dried sufficiently enough to handle phone), she came back on the line to inform me that my area was not eligible for shipping service. What the hell? Is Delphi the land the cable gods forgot? No internet, no DVR, no phone service, no general office, etc. I then, in my most pleading voice, asked the woman if there was any way I might pick up a remote from the Lafayette office since it is nearest to my residence. She replied, with a tone of disdain I am sure she normally reserves for kiddy porn solicitors, that this was impossible as the Lafayette office was not in my “group”. I hung up at this point, no point risking criminal charges. I felt helpless and violated. So if anyone has an extra remote or is willing to engage in acts of corporate sabotage, please feel free to contact me.
All that remains of the Comcast remote...


  1. I love the way you narrate these incidents.

    Seriously, that difficult to get a remote replaced? Wow! Oh, I'm game to join you in the whole corporate sabotage plan. Let's start already. ;-)

  2. I am sorry for the terrible experience. Such a simple request but obviously, it was not completed. I work for Comcast. You can send me your address. I will send it to you ASAP!

    Mark Casem
    Comcast Corp.
    National Customer Operations

  3. Okay, the nail drying thing was hi-larious. Sorry. I understand your frustration. It was still funny, though.

  4. Trust Comcast to 'care' just when I thought my life was going to take an interesting turn(the thrills 'n' follies of corporate sabotage)!

    Let us know if this finally turns out to be a tale of 'All's well that ends well'.

    ~~~Better late than never~~~

  5. Kaotic: Seriously, I am still game. My bill is outrageous. I live in small town America, hence no dvr, high-speed internet, or phone options.
    Comcast: See above comment. I have already driven to Kokomo (which your rep told me only exist in dreams until I pointed out that I had had to visit it once previous). If you really want to help me out, you can score me some free HBO (am paying an arm and leg to watch soft porn here)!
    Candace: Its nice to see someone is benefiting from my frustration.

    By the way, is it creepy that Comcast read my blog?

  6. Oh my word, that's really too bad.

    About Comcast reading your blog, let's just say I almost fainted at first, and then figured I'd go with the 'power of the internet' mantra, which in turn made me think about the positives and negatives of said 'power'.

    ~~~Running circles in my head~~~

  7. Okay, Chick-a-dee, I gave you an award over at my place cause you kick ass!!

  8. Because I think you totally rock, I gave you an award over at

  9. Kaotic: I too am leary of the power now. Perhaps I should blog about John Irving or Salman Rushdie. Ya think they would give me a nod?
    Candace: Thanks for the kudos. You write a funny blog, and frankly I'm in it for the laughs. If I wanted to learn how to knit a skirt using dryer lint, I would google it. Those informative blogs bore me to death.
    Queenie: Thanks for the rockin award. I have visited your site before and will give it a look (whose ego, paltry though it may be, does not enjoy a good stoking?).

    I think its really crummy that comcasts is a one hit wonder in this show. I would have really appreciated some free HBO.

  10. Oh my, wouldn't it be brilliant if things were that easy!

  11. Thanks for sharing. I have Comcast Cable in Philadelphia, PA and had to get a replacement remote because mine broke (fell on the floor one too many times). I had no problem and I can't believe you had to go through all that and still no new remote? Did you threaten to cancel? If they aren't helpful always threaten to cancel and go elsewhere. See what they have to say then!