Monday, August 24, 2009

Murder, maggots, and teeth

To be honest with the two of you who read my blog, I am guilty of watching true-crime television. Oh yes, I am sure you are gasping for air at the shock. Normally, I am horrified at what I call inter-spousal murder. This is when one spouse murders the other for whatever reason (under-cooked chicken, a penchant for animal porn, etc.). Today is not one of those days. Currently, I am feeling extremely empathetic, and am considering approaching my veterinarian for a large dose of horse tranquilizer. This man is driving me insane.
In other news, I successfully moved trash from bin to curve this evening. I wore my pooh cleaning gloves and managed to escape personal confrontation with maggots. By the way, what lonesome idiot sees another's trash bin and thinks to dump his or her garbage in it? I need video surveillance.
Took my oldest son to his third dentist appointment this month. It seems that these sick "professionals" get some sort of kick by referring us around town. Everybody takes a peek inside and passes him a long like a damn hot potato. I am thinking the money spent for these multiple x-rays could have paid for half a breast implant (not that I'm in the market). I figure I will make the best of the expense and use them as our family's Christmas card photo.


  1. True crime sure is doing the rounds these days. The air(pun intended) is filled with it!
    In my part of the world, you'd give up on trying to figure out who dumped garbage into whose bin in seconds. Count yourself lucky to have only a lonesome idiot to deal with. :-)

    Haha, that's going to be an interesting X'mas card.;-)

  2. I often say my goal in life is simply not to become the subject of an episode of that Oxygen show "Snapped" for offing one of the SOBs I manage to date and that one time marry. I hear, Sista.

  3. Kaotic: Lonesome idiot has a drinking problem, I am sure of it. At the very least it gives me an out if I ever take to drinking inexpensive liquor. True Crime is mental junk food, but the voice over is soothing as hell.
    Candace: If there is one thing I dread more than marital discord, it is singleness. I just don't think I have the patience for house training a new man. Not to mention the family dynamic, ugh.